What Not To Wear

When I was in medical school, I submitted my mom and myself to the TLC television show, What Not To Wear. Like nearly every Asian American kid I knew, I was terribly embarrassed by how my mom dressed. And compared to the people I saw on What Not To Wear, I knew my mom would blow them out of the park. Plus, I was in med school and about to become a professional myself, and didn't have anywhere near a professional wardrobe, so I suggested to the show's producers that they could run a mother/daughter episode featuring both of us.

Like most immigrant mothers, my mom is incredibly frugal, especially with clothing. The problem with my mom is that she can't resist a great deal- and she has NO idea how clothing is supposed to look on her. In addition, comfort is key (more on that later), so she likes to wear clothing that is meant to be form-fitting at least 2 sizes too large.

At any rate, I never heard back from the show's producers, BUT yesterday I did get some choice photos of her outfit!

This is what my mom wore when she went to the mall with us yesterday.

I think my mom is saying something about something being strong here.

 Let's take a closer look at her idea of matching fabrics.

This was a shimmery sheer material.

This was another shimmery sheer material.

If that wasn't bad enough, my husband then pointed out that my mom's skirt was SEE-THROUGH. Basically the material was so lightweight and cheap that even with the slip included with the skirt, when she was backlit, you could see ALL THE WAY UP her legs. Oh my.

However, the icing on the cake was when she pulled this vest out of her purse and put it on top of it all.

Mom putting on her vest.

Yes, a synthetic, vinyl appearing, ill-fitting vest. My sister reports that my mom was bragging that she got this vest for cheap at a local thrift shop. I have a suspicion that my parents went to Deseret Industries, where my sister reports they spent $150 on what I suspect is a lot of junk. (My mom did discover some LED candles, which she then bought and brought over to our house to show us. I'm not sure why.) Oh, but back to the vest. Let's take a closer look!

Yes, those are laser cut polka dots.

So, since we were at the mall, and the baby was blessedly asleep, we went to J.Jill and bought my mom some new clothes. I wish I had a picture of her new outfit, but when she came out of the dressing room, my husband exclaimed, "Wow! She looks like a normal person now!" I burst out laughing and people in the store started staring at me.

She then accidentally sent a text message meant for just my father to myself, my sister, my husband, my two sister-in-laws, and my parents-in-law saying:

Miss you Honey, they are the fashion police and help me buy one pant, one sweater and one small jacket .