The Tennis Ball Can

This story is truly mortifying. I claim it as one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life, although to be honest, it's only embarrassing for me because... well, we're talking about my mother here.

(photo yoinked from http://www.pennracquet.com/images/ball_courtone.png)

Thanksgiving 2008, my husband and I had been dating for about a year at that point. He had already met my family, and since he was staying in town for Thanksgiving, my parents invited him to an annual Thanksgiving get-together that my mom's side of the family has in Irvine every year. Since there were seven of us going, (my parents, my sister, my aunt, my grandma, and then-boyfriend,) we took two cars. My dad drove the minivan, while my then-boyfriend (let's just give him a handle- how about B?) followed him with myself and my sister in the car. We had directions to the place, but since we weren't familiar with the area, we were just following my dad. So we followed my dad on the freeway, exited, and then  drove into a residential neighborhood. It then seemed like we were lost. My dad was driving slowly, turned onto a side street, and then pulled over. Puzzled, we checked our directions- this wasn't our destination. But we pulled over behind the minivan to see what the plan was.

My mom then got out of the passenger side with a tennis ball can in her hand. My bewilderment turned into mortification as she squatted slightly on the side of the road and proceeded to urinate into the tennis ball can. B was incredulous and thought the whole situation was hilarious.

"IS SHE... PEEING?!?!?!?!?"

"STOP LOOKING STOP LOOKING!!!!" I yelled, reaching across the car to try to cover his eyes.

"OH MY GOD, SHE'S PEEING!!! ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!! IN A TENNIS BALL CAN!!! DOES SHE KNOW THAT WE'RE RIGHT BEHIND THEM!?!??!"

She then turned, poured the urine out into a bush on the side of the road, and gingerly stuffed the can itself into the bush as well. She got back into the car and we proceeded to our destination, scarred for life.

That Christmas, we got her a ten-pack of TravelJohns.