TT;CB (Too tight; couldn't breathe)

Recently, my parents were visiting town. It was cold enough that I was wearing a Mountain Hardware down micro puff jacket that I've owned for a while, and my mom was admiring it. She was asking where she could get one too, so we took her to the Patagonia Outlet Store to see if we could find her something at a good price. She had just come from playing tennis, and was wearing a jacket over her tennis dress. I thought nothing of it until she started removing her jacket in order to try on new jackets, and I saw this:

And then I started chasing her around the store, giving her jacket back so it didn't look like she was wearing a tennis dress with no bra and gashes cut into it.

"Moooommm," I hissed at her, "What happened to your dress???"

"Oh," she replied, "It was too tight, I can't breathe."

Green Juice

Not my mom's green juice. 

Oh, lordy, how have I not written about the green juice yet? Everybody seem to be green juicing now; it's an easy way to get your greens and all the nutritious goodness that comes with that. But you see, my mom is the ultimate hipster, because she does all of these things way before everybody else is. She's been green juicing before all the cold-press juiceries started popping up in SF and raising chickens in her back yard long before it was a thing.

The thing about my mom's green juice is that... well, 1. it has lots of particulates in it, but really, 2. it tastes awful. My mom will claim that it tastes good, but unlike many juiceries who will add some fruit to make the juice taste good, this juice is just vegetables. And more vegetables. And maybe they'll throw in half a lemon too. And here's the other thing- my parents won't travel anywhere (read: my mom won't let my parents travel anywhere) without bringing green juice. So they will fly to Utah with bottles of frozen green juice to keep the rest of their groceries from California cool. They freeze it in recycled Pepsi bottles, random Nalgenes that I've left at home over the years, empty old water bottles... I had sort of gotten used to the idea, since it's been happening since I was in high school, but something about getting married gives you a second set of eyes to re-see all the things you've been seeing for years.

So this video was taken years ago, but for some reason, only now have I come across it to share with you. The beginning, you will note that my parents also brought along multiple ziplock bags full of raw veggies to cook. They have their maid/housekeeper/helper wash, dry, cut, and package it all before they travel. And then at the end, I now remember that they were visiting for the holidays, so all the junk food is being re-gifted to us from my parents. And of course, in the middle, the real star of the show:

VIVA GREEN JUICE!!!

(P.S. I make my own green smoothies now, but I like to think mine taste better than hers. Which goes to show that really, I am slowly becoming my mother.)